For a relationship to flourish, both people have to feel respected and cared about. We all know that we can fall out of love with someone—it happens—but falling out of love doesn’t mean that your relationship is over.
I’m often asked this question by people who feel stuck in a rut. They think they’re on the right path, but their relationship isn’t progressing. The reason is, they’re not doing anything different than when they were last together. They’re doing what they did before, and having the same type of conversations and interactions over and over again. It can be a good thing—but if you aren’t doing anything different, there’s a very good chance you’re not getting better. You’re not going anywhere, and the relationship will remain stagnant.
So what do you do? How do you get the spark back?
1. Identify What’s Holding You Back
What are you doing that’s holding you back? I’m not talking about the external things—like a relationship with your partner or kids. I’m talking about the internal things keeping you from making the relationship better. What are you doing to sabotage your relationship? Is it something you do? Something you say? Something you don’t do?
The first step is to be honest with yourself. If you can’t be honest with yourself, how can you be honest with your partner? If you’re not honest with yourself, how can you expect to be honest with your partner?
Additionally, I recommend talking to your partner about what you’re doing. It’s not easy to be honest with yourself, so it’s hard to be honest with your partner. But if you can’t be honest with yourself, you’ll never be able to be honest with your partner.
2. Find Out How Your Partner Really Thinks
One of the most important things to do when you’re in a relationship is to figure out how your partner thinks. When you’re with your partner, you’re trying to do the best you can, but if you’re not listening to your partner’s thoughts and feelings, you will miss the real issues.
You need to be able to communicate with your partner to understand what they’re thinking and feeling. And, if you’re trying to figure out how your partner really thinks, you have to be able to have an honest conversation.
3. Create Space For Romance
Romance is an integral part of a relationship. It’s not just about physical intimacy. It’s about sharing your thoughts and feelings, and understanding your partner’s thoughts and feelings.
If you don’t have time for romance, you will miss out on some of the essential things in your relationship.
4. Communicate Frequently
Communication is a crucial part of a relationship, and it’s the foundation of a healthy marriage. If you want to build a strong relationship, you have to be able to communicate with your partner.
You have to listen to your partner and understand them. In addition, you have to understand what your partner is thinking and feeling.
If you can’t communicate, you’re going to miss out on many things that make a relationship work.
5. Don’t Take Things Personally
There’s a big difference between being understanding and taking things personally. If you’re not understanding, you’re not going to be able to build a lasting relationship. If you take things personally, you’re going to be constantly arguing and fighting. In addition, you’re going to always think about what your partner is thinking and feeling.
Often, we take things personally when they’re not meant to be taken personally. For example, if your partner says something about you that doesn’t happen to be accurate, it’s not personal. It’s just a comment, and it’s not meant to hurt your feelings.
If you can learn not to take things personally, you’ll be able to build a relationship that lasts.
Rachel